This subject has been nagging at me seeking expression for several weeks now so I decided to write about it. As most of you know, I have Sun conjunct Chiron in Libra and have been puzzling out relationship issues most of my adult life, and in the process I have become rather good at spotting patterns in both my relationships and others.
Generally speaking, most people don’t start questioning what is going on with their relationships until around their first Saturn return in their late twenties-early thirties. Saturn is very good at reminding us time is passing and asking for performance reviews . . . bless his pointed little head.
Astrologically speaking, we can start sorting by outer planet influences (ruler of the seventh house, aspects to the Sun, Moon and Venus in particular). If Saturn dominates, then you were too busy getting your career off the ground or you are married with children and are not going to waste your time reading this. Uranus pushes for total autonomy and the need to feel unconfined by rules of any kind. Neptune? Neptune would have us all out “rescuing” sad sorts with just TONS of potential, manifested or not – either that or pulling the wool over our eyes for our own good, of course. And if it’s Pluto, it’s all about control and not losing it.
Next we need to sit down and honestly review our own patterns in relating to others. Are we faithful, willing to compromise and truly listen to our partners? How long do our relationships last? If there a consistent “type” we fall for? Do we even want to be part of a committed relationship at all, or are we happier living alone where no one else is messing about with our belongings?
Then we need to take a close look at what we know about our sweethearts, especially if you are looking for something more lasting. What is their dating history? Is there a pattern of cheating or being cheated on? How do they handle money? Rejection? Treat their family members or people who cannot directly benefit them?
Another red flag for me is glaring inconsistencies. For instance, what would you think if your beautiful partner who treats you so well tells you about a pattern of previous partners cheating on them? There has to be a reason for that. One of which would be choosing really self-centered, narcissistic types, or another possibility is this person was cheating too. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
While Saturn is in Libra, we have an excellent window of opportunity to learn more about our patterns of relating. If after giving these questions due consideration and you realize some adjustments are needed, I recommend seeking out good professional help. Though I am not one of them, there are astrologers out there with degrees in counseling who are dedicated to helping people understand why they do what they do.
Where are you on this journey? Making progress or stuck in neutral?