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Observations: Scorpio’s Unwritten Contracts

© Dmitry Bairachnyi | Dreamstime.com

Unwritten contracts are the set of assumptions or expectations we bring with us into our interactions with others. All the fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius) are prone to hanging on their preconceived notions about how events are supposed to unfold but Pluto ruled Scorpio has the most difficulty with revising these.

There are many, many times when Scorpio’s tenacity and will power work for them and the rest of us watch with awe. The Scorpionic ability to transform their personal landscape is downright amazing. However, like many of Pluto’s gifts, it can be treacherous if not wielded with caution and awareness especially when it comes to relating to other human beings. Like a double-edged sword, our assumptions can cut us as deeply as they do our loved ones. If we have impossibly high standards of how we are supposed to behave in our relationships, we are opening ourselves up to failure time after time.

With all the Scorpio I have natally, learning to recognize my own set of assumptions is an ongoing project. For instance, I felt it was my responsibility to prepare breakfast for my significant other, despite the fact I am so not an early riser. Living with someone who likes to be up and out the door by six o’clock in the AM meant I needed to get up at five to have breakfast ready on time. Wandering around feeling grumpy and sleep deprived was not a good look for me. When I went back to work and needed all my attention focused on getting my butt out the door on time, it became obvious it was much easier for my husband to fix his own breakfast – no big deal to him. It was all me demanding I do this because that’s what I felt that was part of being someone’s wife. Nutz huh?!

I have been on the receiving end of Scorpio assumptions too. Many years ago I dated a Scorpio man who insisted I lose weight, wear padded bras because my boobs were too small and generally conform to his idea of the perfect woman. Dare I say this man made my permanent sh*t list? By the way, this man’s Sun was closely squared by Pluto, exponentially increasing Pluto’s influence. When he attempted to worm his way back into my life twenty years later, he STILL hadn’t changed! It happens . . .

Just so you know, I also know and love plenty of Scorpios who have worked through and discarded their expectations for themselves and others. Good people. :D

Most of these behavioral assumptions and expectations stem from our childhoods. We model our behaviors on the important adults in our lives, usually our parents. Babies and young children hit the ground absorbing everything they can. The ability to discriminate between what is a good fit for us as individuals comes much, much later . . . if ever. A very good reason for being kind and forgiving to ourselves, isn’t it?

Where Scorpio falls in our charts can give us some idea of the nature of our assumptions. With Mars-Mercury in Scorpio conjoining my Scorpio Ascendant, it is no surprise my expectations are primarily focused on me in a very personal way and related to how I present myself to others.

Just for the fun of it, where is Scorpio in your chart and do you have expectations of yourself or others related to that house or planets?

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11 comments to Observations: Scorpio’s Unwritten Contracts

  • oh boy! scorpio?
    pluto in scorpio conjunct midheaven and saturn conjunct mars in scorpio in the 10th house. saturn is my chart ruler i’m cappy rising…

    this post is my life story. i’ve found that it is about letting go of expectations of myself. my current mantra is:

    say no without guilt
    yes without expectation
    this here is freedom

    it helps tremendously in moving forward confidently without that feeling of owing people or that heavy sense of responsility for every one i feel with 4 planets + 1 point in capricorn. all that scorpio and capricorn…i must have been very self oriented in a past life LOL

    • Diane L

      Welcome, electricmind!

      it helps tremendously in moving forward confidently without that feeling of owing people or that heavy sense of responsibility for every one i feel with 4 planets + 1 point in capricorn

      Yes, lots of Scorpio & Capricorn + Saturn will do that to a person. I firmly believe in the importance of forgiving ourselves when we fail to achieve the impossible . . . :P Saying “no” without guilt is so hard and so critical to staying sane, isn’t it?

      diane~

  • Deb

    Merc-Scorp, Venus-Scorp, Uranus-Scorp, Sun-conjunct-Pluto. Moon in Leo in Scorpio’s house. Loyalty and respect is important to me. I’ve got the loyalty I need, but I’m working on NOT expecting the respect anymore since I’m fully aware of the entitled citizens sharing this planet with me. And like electricmind, I’m also working on saying “no” without guilt– this takes practice so hopefully Saturn will recognize that I’m trying my best to focus on me more.

    XO,
    Deb

    • Diane L

      Hey Deb! :)

      And like electricmind, I’m also working on saying “no” without guilt– this takes practice so hopefully Saturn will recognize that I’m trying my best to focus on me more.

      Yes, yes, yes!! :D I bet you know exactly where you got too much self-sacrifice programmed in. Gah. Generally speaking, those who worry about focusing on “me” too much really need to. Plenty of folks out there who focus first and foremost on pleasing themselves and the heck with everyone else.

      xoxo diane~

  • Deb

    P.S. But Scorpio is still sizzling, yes.

  • Rossa

    Cappy rising for me too with Saturn at 3 Cap. And Saturn is the ancient ruler of Aquarius, my Sun sign.

    As for Scorpio. Neptune at 6 Sco in 9th, MC at 24 Sco and Jupiter at 29 Sco in 10th…way to go!

    I’d also agree with EM. Letting go of expectations of others and learning that “selfishness” is not about excluding others has been a good development in my life. Breaking the classic victim/rescuer cycle in my personal relationships has set me free.

    R x

    • Diane L

      Hi Rossa!

      I’d also agree with EM. Letting go of expectations of others and learning that “selfishness” is not about excluding others has been a good development in my life. Breaking the classic victim/rescuer cycle in my personal relationships has set me free.

      Shudder . . . victim/rescuer cycles. Been there, done that and ain’t NEVER going back. Though I see my 11th house Moon/Neptune conj in Libra as aiding and abetting that! :P

      xoxo diane~

  • casey31652

    Moon/Mars conjunct in Scorpio in the 7th house — an Aries astrologer once told me I was “amoral” and I would have nothing but stormy relationships. And, indeed, until I hit my 50s, life did seem like a soap opera to me.

    Scorpio gives me depth and clarity and intelligence, IMO. I work very hard not to be possessive.

    • Diane L

      {{Casey}} :D

      Moon/Mars conjunct in Scorpio in the 7th house — an Aries astrologer once told me I was “amoral” and I would have nothing but stormy relationships. And, indeed, until I hit my 50s, life did seem like a soap opera to me.

      Scorpio needs intensity and passion in their relationships but “amoral”? Some of the most honorable people I know are Scorpios. Heh, I sure had plenty of soap opera stuff going on in my twenties & thirties too. Getting married helped me immensely.

      Scorpio gives me depth and clarity and intelligence, IMO. I work very hard not to be possessive.

      Exactly! Possessive is sooo hard to avoid for Scorpio . . . just part of the Pluto ruled package I guess. :P

      xoxo diane~

  • chrispito

    “We model our behaviors on the important adults in our lives, usually our parents. Babies and young children hit the ground absorbing everything they can. The ability to discriminate between what is a good fit for us as individuals comes much, much later . . . if ever.”

    What an astute observation…wouldn’t expect anything less from you though, Diane:) I’m reading Alice Miller these days. It comes up again and again, the pre-verbal stage of infancy.

    • Diane L

      Hey Christy!!

      It comes up again and again, the pre-verbal stage of infancy.

      I vacillate between being amazed and appalled at how much we absorb so young.

      Both my granddaughter & grand-niece (now 4 yrs) have parents who are careful how they speak to their children and from I can tell, it makes a HUGE difference in their development. I mean no one is screaming sh*t at them day in and day out!

      xoxo diane~