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Observations: The Rewards of Disillusionment

Neptune themes have been all too common in people’s lives recently and with a Full Moon in Neptune ruled Pisces today; the foggy one has been on my mind. He can lead even the most rational of us off into la la land and for those susceptible to Neptune’s brand of Romance, disillusionment is almost sure to follow.

Why is being disillusioned a good thing? Because once we’ve let go of the impossible dream we can begin to reformulate our ideas about what constitutes a good workable relationship based in reality. You know the kind between two people who like each other, warts and all, the sort highly recommended by Saturn in Libra. There are those who are unable to let go the illusion of a perfect love and every time their hopes are dashed, denial sets back in and off they go in search of the person they are sure is their soul mate. By the way, this is classic behavior for the commitment phobic . . .

Some natal indicators for potential Neptune inspired problems include Neptune opposed to the Sun, Moon and Venus, or Neptune on the Descendant. Trines and sextiles between those planets can fall into Neptune’s rose-colored trap on occasion but usually they are able to pull out of it. The reason the opposition is so important is because relationships are about the “other” and so much easier to project upon. In this age of meeting people online instead of in person, creating a marvelous fantasy relationship around those individuals is dead easy. It doesn’t help that so many people can’t resist “improving” the photos they post or seriously editing the information they give . . . very, very Neptunian. In politics, it’s called spin. For meeting potential lovers it can be downright stupid. After all, the plan is to meet face to face at some point, right?

How can we determine what makes us susceptible to Neptune’s illusions? The planet he aspects can offer insight. If it is the Sun those issues may stem from our relationship, or lack of one, with our fathers (or male authority figures) and the Moon points to mothers or other strong female figures in our early lives. Venus and Mars often mean buying into the concept of romance portrayed in the media. Aspects from other planets can bring out different facets too. For instance, I have a natal Moon-Neptune conjunction sextile Saturn and Pluto. I got carried away with misplaced nurturance among other things . . . following my mom’s example of co-dependence.

What can you do if you are the person at the center of someone else’s fantasy life? Just be as matter of fact as possible and reinforce your personal boundaries at every turn. Hit them over the head with the reality of who you are as frequently as possible until it looks like the message is getting through. If you don’t, you may end up contorting yourself to fit into those expectations and I can just about guarantee resentment will build up to the explosion point all too soon.

Saturn is still in Libra until October and is ready to remind everyone of the value of having open, honest, equitable relationships that endure because they are based on two genuine people who see each other with clear eyes. Contrary to popular opinion, Love is not blind . . . though it is occasionally willfully ignorant.

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8 comments to Observations: The Rewards of Disillusionment

  • William

    I hear you about the potential for disillusionment. I have Venus conjunct his Neptune opposing his Mercury, Moon, and Jupiter. Every once in awhile the fog lifts. It isn’t easy because he also has Venus in Pisces adding to the mix. And, my Neptune in Scorpio makes a wide conjunction to his Ascendant. Fortunately his Saturn makes a conjunction to the Venus/Neptune conjunction so there is a reality check at least occasionally.

    • Diane L

      Hi William,

      This is plenty of Neptune at work in your synastry! Whilst a little Neptune adds mystery & often keeps the romance alive for some, it isn’t the easiest to live with in a practical day to day environment.

      Between my Aries & I, it is my Moon conjoining his Saturn-Neptune conj in Libra. :) My Scorp Mars is trine his Venus in Pisces, all to the good.

      xoxo diane~

      • William

        Between myself, and my Aries our Suns are inconjunct and there are some oppositions as well to add some spice to the mix. Being Virgo and Aries having a touch of Neptune to lighten things up a bit gives us room to accept warts, and clay feet that would normaly have caused us to go our seperate ways.

  • Deb

    I hope I’m not at the center of someone else’s fantasy life!

    As for the disillusion, yeah, I feel like I just don’t have time or energy for that stuff. I don’t mind watching all the great big hopes and over-optimism in movies, crying over them if that’s what comes up (they’re kinda helpful in getting out a good ol’ cry). But that’s it.

    These days, I spend more time trusting myself than trusting a dream (like fame and acclaim and all that jazz). :)

    That last paragraph is gold!

    – Deb

  • Diane L

    Hey Deb!
    As for the disillusion, yeah, I feel like I just don’t have time or energy for that stuff. I don’t mind watching all the great big hopes and over-optimism in movies, crying over them if that’s what comes up (they’re kinda helpful in getting out a good ol’ cry). But that’s it.

    Me neither. I also like my romance on the screen or in a book. However I have a deep dislike for “they done me wrong” songs or sickly sweet sentimental ones. YUCK!!!

    Glad you like my Scorp humor . . . :D

    xoxoxo diane~

  • Jeannie

    My venus in leo is square neptune in scorpio and this has been my life’s “achilles heal”. I see everyone with rose-colored glasses. 90% of the time, people live up to the good that I see in them. But that 10% who don’t, oh, have they wrecked havoc in my life!

    • Diane L

      Welcome Jeannie!

      But that 10% who don’t, oh, have they wrecked havoc in my life!

      So true. Have you realized later your intuition about those people was accurate but for one reason or another you ignored it? I know that’s how it usually worked for me.

      xoxo diane~

  • Joe

    Most apropos, this image of the Lady of Shalott. Now there’s one who was wrapped in illusion, and could not sustain it when faced with the harsh light of reality. BTW, Canadian artist Loreena McKennitt put Tennyson’s poem to music in a most masterful manner, with a hypnotic theme and dreamy background music that avoids falling into any saccharine new-agey genre.

    Anyway, as you know, I have Neptune on the descendant so I have to be careful not to get drawn into the fog. Fortunately I think Saturn on the Asc. is able to counteract it a bit.