I have my natal Sun in Libra, the sign of relationship, conjunct Chiron in Libra and have spent many years analyzing what makes us tick when it comes to relating to others.
From around age forty to forty-five, we go through an intense period of outer planet cycles to the natal chart often referred to as the “mid-life crisis”. This starts with transiting Uranus opposing natal Uranus, followed by transiting Neptune squaring natal Neptune and finishing up with transiting Saturn opposing natal Saturn. Naturally these transits have a profound effect on our relationships!
Not too surprisingly the Uranus opposite Uranus transit often brings an end to unsatisfactory relationships, especially to those who married in their early twenties and find their interests and priorities have shifted dramatically over the intervening years. For those people who focused their attention on building a career instead, this transit may cause them to realize they too would like to find someone to share life with.
I tend to believe it is the Neptune square Neptune transit that results in the unrealistic pursuit of much younger partners with whom the forty-something person has little in common. We want something but just don’t know what and Neptune’s rose-colored glasses are not much help. A better way to move through this transit is to take a step back and turn inwards, perhaps go on a retreat or talk to a kind, wise friend who genuinely has your best interests at heart.
The low point is the last major transit – Saturn opposing natal Saturn at around age forty-five. The sanest option is to accept we are growing older and work with that instead of frantically attempting to look and act younger. Saturn appreciates mature behaviors and by working with Father Time we realize how much we have to offer instead of bemoaning our lost youth.
What do most of us want out of relationship after surviving our mid-life transits? I venture to say companionship with someone we can talk to, go places with and who shares our interests and values. By and large, many people are self-supporting at this point in their lives and if they have children, those children are usually verging on adulthood and have lives of their own. If we find someone who ignites our passions that is wonderful but believe me, finding a partner who makes you laugh and who accepts you as you are is far better in the long run and Saturn in Libra will back me up on that!
Something else to take into consideration is possessions and property . . . at twenty most of us had little to nothing but by the time we’re approaching fifty we usually own considerably more. Whose home will you live in or will you choose to continue living in your own homes? Will you choose to merge your finances or keep them separate? And being very clear and honest about money and spending habits is crucial. More relationships founder because of differences in this area than any other. Saturn and Jupiter aspects in the natal chart can offer clues in this area.
What synastry aspects do I rate highest for a mature relationship? Good aspects between the Luminaries are always near the top, followed by solid connections to Mercury in both charts because there is no substitute for comfortable, easy communications. After that I would check to see whether or not Venus is compatible to the other person’s Venus by sign and/or degree, and the same with Mars to Mars. Venus tells us about what we enjoy and what give us pleasure. Mars is all about how we take action and if someone has an impatient Mars in Aries and their partner has a sensitive Mars in Cancer, traveling together would not be a lot of fun.
If we have taken the lessons Uranus, Saturn and Neptune have taught us to heart and have made progress on the path to self-acceptance, then the relationships we enter into later in life can be the most rewarding of all. Right now we have Saturn in Libra on hand to help us take a clear-eyed look at potential partners and what they have to offer. Red hot romance fades all too quickly but genuine love based on mutual respect and consideration will continue to blossom over the years.
This photo was taken of my Aries and I shortly after we were first married and obviously very happy together. 
